A lil CFS/ME update

A lil CFS/ME update

It’s been 7 months since I started this blog so I thought I’d do a little update on my CFS/ME, it’s been quite a hectic 7 months to say the least, but I actually feel I’ve made quite a lot of headway with managing CFS/ME.

The main thing I’ve been able to adjust is my routine, 6 months ago I would struggle to get through the day without taking a 2 hour nap, obviously that was extremely inconvenient. Days where I wasn’t able to have a nap would usually result in a day or two in bed, I was so fed up of being so restricted. It took a while but I’ve managed to cut out napping, I still have extreme days where I’m pretty much bed bound which just comes with the territory. Cutting out those naps has honestly made such a difference, I’m not going to lie it takes a lot of organising of my days and judging how taxing an activity will be, but it’s made it so much easier to actually do things. Just to tackle uni work I made a whole timetable for a month and it has definitely made me a lot more productive.

I think it’s made such a big difference living with Cal, don’t get me wrong I loved my years living in a student house and I really miss seeing everyone every day, but there’s no way I’d have been able to manage my illness being that independent. Since living with Cal simple tasks have got a lot easier, Cal can help me with cleaning, cooking and anything really. I know none of my housemates would have minded if I had asked for help, but it’s an issue of pride, no one wants to admit they can’t do simple daily jobs, whereas living with Cal a lot of the time I don’t even have to ask him.

That’s something that really hasn’t got easier, although I know I need to ask people to help me with things but I still find it hard and struggle not to get embarrassed. There’s been several occasions where I know it would have been a lot easier if I had just said I have a disability, for instance Cal and I were at a gig which we’d had planned for months but it was the day we came back from Berlin and I was SO fatigued. We ended up having to leave early as I was in so much pain from standing and I felt horrendously guilty for cal and upset we’d had to miss the end. Annoyingly, there were a couple sat on stools at the edge of the venue and a lot of the time they would stand up to watch, and if I had just had the confidence to say I needed to sit down then I probably could have made it through the rest of the gig.

I’ve really tried not to dwell on instances like that but it’s hard not to get frustrated with yourself. In terms of where I am with my illness, I feel I’ve come a long way physically, sadly I get a lot more joint pain than before, however I can see such an improvement from where I was 6 months ago. I know I still have a lot of work to accept and manage this illness emotionally, but I can see everything I have managed to overcome since being diagnosed and that’s what keeps me motivated to keep trying.

See you next time pals x

8 Films That Have Inspired Me

8 Films That Have Inspired Me

Something a little different from me, however I was recently inspired by a podcast to write about some of the films that have inspired or influenced me in any way, some are just favourites of mine.

  1. The Parent Trap

The Parent Trap was easily one of my favourite childhood films, I remember just always wanting it on even if I was just playing. The story line revolves around to long-lost twins meeting at summer camp and deciding to trade places in order to get their parents back together. I have to admit I have only seen the later remake and not the original, but the fact they managed to create twins out of Lindsey Lohan blew my little child brain. It’s just such a feel good film, I love the soundtrack as well and the scenery throughout. 10 year old me wanted to grow up and live on a vineyard, even though I’d never drank wine, because of this film.

2. Moana

My next children’s film had to be Moana, now as a childhood my favourite Disney Princess film was always Pocahontas, that gal is a strong independent woman. However I had to give Moana the edge for this list as I truly did become obsessed with it at the start if uni, the animation and music are truly beautiful and it never fails to make me feel summery. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE a rom-com, but I think there’s something so valuable in showing children a female lead without a love interest, the friendship between Moana and Maui is captivating enough.

3. Mamma Mia and Mamma Mia Here We Go Again

These two films will hardly be a shock to anyone that knows me, I loved the first film and I didn’t think it was possible to like the second as much as I did! I remember going to see Mamma Mia at the cinema and loving it because I already loved ABBA and all the music, and throwing in the Greek setting was just spectacular. I am not oblivious to the cheese factor with Mamma Mia, and that’s where I think Here We Go Again is so cleverly written, it keeps an element of that cheese but there is so much more depth and emotion to the storyline. Lily James is literally stunning throughout, I want her wardrobe. They feel so special to me as I know how much my family love ABBA, I could write a whole blog post on my obsession with these films but I won’t, and Slipping Through My Fingers is such a powerful song (it’s actually mine and my mum’s song).

4. Rent

My other musical mention had to be Rent, I first watched it whilst in sixth form and I literally fell in love with it. I just had the soundtrack constantly on in my car. I’ll give a little background as I know it’s a less known than others in this post, it’s set in New York during the AIDS epidemic and follows 8 characters over a year as most live in near poverty. Also want to give a special mention to Jonathan Larson, he wrote the original stage musical and the morning of the first Off Broadway preview performance he passed away unexpectedly, so never got to see its reception. If that isn’t heartbreaking I don’t know what is. The musical, particularly the lyrics, is so powerful and celebrates life despite the sorrow. I could say a lot more about this musical but I shall refrain from ruining the story for anyone who wants to watch it.

5. My Sister’s Keeper

Admittedly, this is a bit of a random choice for me as I haven’t actually watched it in years. However, it is a film that I often reference and always remember, it focuses on a family with three children, one who has had cancer from a young age, the parents chose to have a third child to be a donor for the child with cancer. I think it’s such a clever concept that brings up a lot of moral and ethical questions. How far should parents be willing to go to save their child? Where do you draw the line? Obviously it is a very sad film, but I think it’s an important topic especially as cancer affects everyone. If you have watched the film I would highly recommend the book as it’s obviously in a lot more depth, but I’ll warn you the film is a nice version of the book!

6. The Last Song

As previously mentioned, I love a rom-com, I went to see The Last Song in Sydney with my sister and we expected to just to see a happy, easy-going rom-com but left in tears as it was so much more emotional than we expected. The film takes place in a small seaside town, with two children visiting their estranged father for the summer, it’s a Nicholas Sparks novel so obviously focuses on romance, however there is a lot more meat to the story, it shows the powerful relationship between father and children and it has a lovely message of forgiveness. Also think Miley and Liam have insane chemistry, obviously because they were actually falling in love but still worth a mention.

7. Notting Hill

Now this is a total (not) guilty pleasure, like I said I love a rom-com, and I love this late 90s era of Julia Roberts films. She is genuinely so stunning and graceful throughout the film, and I love seeing Hugh Grant be a bit more awkward than he usually is. The film as a whole, is just an easy watch, it’s feel good and set in such a cool part of London. I remember last year Elle and I were watching it in the lounge and slowly but surely nearly all the boys had come to join us and were loving it. I have to give a special shout out to My Best Friend’s Wedding as I was really torn between the two, in the end I asked Cal which I mention more and he said Notting Hill.

8. Random Film I used to watch on Sky Go

Technically, I shouldn’t count this as I can’t remember it’s name, however I used to be obsessed with this film that was on Sky Go. All I remember is that the main character was a guy who was having problems with his partner/wife as they couldn’t have children and I’m pretty sure they separate during the film, and then he finds out he actually has a son called Phoenix and keeps it hidden from his partner. Eventually the partner finds out, the mother of the son is diagnosed with a terminal illness and it ends with her reading a letter to Phoenix. It sounds cheery I know, but it was really good!! For the life of me I cannot remember it’s name and it has bothered me for years that I don’t know what it is, I have even tried googling ‘films with a character named phoenix’ and never had any luck, so if anyone knows what this film is, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!

See you next time pals x